Friendship: Possibly the Most Important Type of Intimate Relationship

What really counts as a relationship? Especially as an intimate or important relationship? That’s the topic of this month’s free sample chapter from my new book, Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator: Uncommon Love and Life. I ask people about their relationships fairly often (surprise, surprise).  I’ve noticed something interesting that generally holds true, regardless of whether people […]

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Video explaining the Relationship Escalator

I’ve been meaning to do a video to explain what the Relationship Escalator is, and how it affects the kinds of intimate relationships that people have. But, you know, I’ve been busy writing and publishing a book on that topic: Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator. In the meantime, I found this video from 2015, by […]

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Free download for February: Book chapter on going solo

I first began writing about unconventional relationships in 2012, when I launched the blog SoloPoly.net. It was there that I published the post that triggered the entire Off the Escalator project: Riding the Relationship Escalator or Not? That post received wide attention from all kinds of places, not just the polysphere. I was glad that I […]

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Book Now Available, Get it at Amazon!

Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator: Uncommon Love and Life is a new book about intimate relationships that don’t follow the traditional path. The first book in the Off the Escalator series, it’s based on over 1500 responses to a survey where people shared their experiences with unconventional intimacy. Buy the Kindle ebook for $9.99 An excellent value, this […]

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Trust, the antidote to jealousy

Karen, a reader of this blog, wanted to know what people who responded to my survey had to say about jealousy and trust in unconventional relationships. (You can suggest a topic, too.) Jealousy is a painfully intense, complex emotional reaction that can cripple relationships — and it happens in traditional relationships, as well as unconventional […]

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“Asexual relationships give me the freedom to be myself” — Marie’s story

One of the best surprises of my survey on unconventional relationships were the many thoughtful responses I received from people who are asexual — that is, they experience little or no sexual attraction. Sex typically plays little or no role in the deep bonds of love and commitment that asexual people form in relationships. I treasured […]

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Project progress: 3 rules that are helping to shape my book

I’ve been busy, busy, busy revising my original manuscript for the first book in the Off the Escalator series — slimming it down from a gargantuan 105,000 words to around 60-70,000 words. For awhile I was really struggling with how to do this, especially how to better manage integrating quotes curated from over 1000 surveys. […]

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