Psychology Today jealousy article shows why Off the Escalator books are needed

The cover story of the November 2016 issue of Psychology Today caught my attention in the grocery store yesterday: Listening to Jealousy, by Sara Eckel. This lengthy feature explores several research-based insights into how jealousy works in the context of intimate relationships — and how the people who experience jealousy, or deal with its effects, can better […]

Read More shows polyamory is about people, not just couples/families

In recent years, mainstream media coverage of polyamory (a popular approach to consensual nonmonogamy) has been increasing. But usually, it focuses on the forms of polyamory that resemble conventional monogamy in significant ways: Family-style polyamory, where more than two adults with overlapping intimate relationships also live with (or at least very near) each other and […]

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Monogamy: What does it mean to you?

Monogamy is perhaps the most visible hallmark of the Relationship Escalator (intimate relationships that follow social norms). But what is monogamy, really? The definition of monogamy really comes down to what the people involved in a monogamous relationship want it to mean. Under current social norms, monogamy refers to some substantial level of exclusivity between […]

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New poll reveals strong stigma against ethical nonmonogamy

According to recent poll by YouGov1, only one in four U.S. adults believe that polyamory2 is “morally acceptable.” The majority (56%) believe that polyamorous relationships are “morally wrong,” and 18% aren’t sure. Meanwhile, in the U.K., people are just slightly less intolerant. There, YouGov found3 that just over one third (35%) of British adults find […]

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Monogamous relationships can be unconventional, too

One of the most obvious, common, and controversial ways that intimate relationships can be unconventional is to somehow step aside from monogamy (sexual and romantic exclusivity). However, about 9% of the responses to my survey on unconventional relationships came from monogamous people — and some of these people have rather unconventional monogamous relationships.

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Ashley Madison data theft shows more nuanced conversation on monogamy is needed

When news broke on July 19 that the user database of the website Ashley Madison had been compromised, public moralizing kicked into high gear. Some people were eager to know whether their spouse had stepped out on them; and people who had cheated (or even just been curious about cheating) worried that they might lose […]

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