Video explaining the Relationship Escalator

I’ve been meaning to do a video to explain what the Relationship Escalator is, and how it affects the kinds of intimate relationships that people have. But, you know, I’ve been busy writing and publishing a book on that topic: Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator.

In the meantime, I found this video from 2015, by Jeff,  that does a pretty good job of explaining these concepts. While he mentions polyamory, and this is part of his video series on polyamory, Jeff offers a clear, basic explanation of the Escalator that should be understandable to people who know nothing about polyamory or other kinds of unconventional relationships.

So if you like videos, this a good place to start. Thanks, Jeff!

 

Finding support to realign a relationship: Colin & Jamie’s story

Could a "breakup" look like this? Sure!   (Photo by Baily Weaver, Creative Commons license)
Could a “breakup” look like this? Sure!
(Photo by Baily Weaver, Creative Commons license)

One of the roughest aspects of the traditional Escalator model for intimate relationships is that it doesn’t offer any good ways to step down. When a couple who had been riding the Escalator together decide to end or shift their intimacy, it’s framed in violent terms of separation: a breakup or a divorce.

But off the Escalator, there are plenty of options to transition (rather than totally end) a significant intimate relationship.

Here’s one example, from a reader named Colin: (more…)